Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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