Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I have peed in a lot of sinks
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
