I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
