doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Randomize
