I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
