who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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