his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
