What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize