You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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