Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
