I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Is it because I queefed?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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