Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
