If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
