I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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