Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
