im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
God I need to hump something, right now.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
