Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
