Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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