why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
