I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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