I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
