what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
