Taylor Swift is so right about you.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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