That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
