I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Michael Bay diarrhea
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
