The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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