can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
