I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
