would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
