dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
