dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
