please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
