Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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