yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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