Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
