i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I look better un-naked...
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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