He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
