Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
