That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
