You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Floor bacon is actually really good
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
