wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
tell me about the fingering
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