We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
