I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
