Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
