what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
