Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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