You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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