so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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