If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
My pussy is not your playground.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
