We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
