she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
