Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
