sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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