on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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