At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
