how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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