Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
