I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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