one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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