Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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