Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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