I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
