Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
