Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
