I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Randomize
