He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
