did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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