You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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