I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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