is your mom at the bar?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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