i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
