Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
