Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
